Divorce and separation filings spike after the new year. Couples brave the holidays (no need to ruin Christmas for the kids!), then call it quits. Or they’ve been thinking about it for years, and finally decide to pull the plug as part of a resolution. Or maybe the stresses of the winter festivities were the nail in the coffin of your union.

If you’re headed for divorce, here is a roundup of info you need now:

• Call a lawyer. Ultimately, you may agree to a mediated split, or DIY. But get some legal advice about your particular situation.
• Get cash in your name alone. Related article: Every woman needs $5,ooo cash in her own name, even if it’s secret
• Related: Sell your engagement ring after divorce? Yes, and here’s how …
• Pay attention to your credit. This is the most-overlooked, and one of the most important parts of your financial picture in divorce. don’t eff it up. Related article: Credit tips if your divorcing or thinking about separating
• Start thinking about how you will make more money. Gun for a promotion at work. Start a side gig. Launch that business you’ve been yammering about. Switch careers. You will need more money, and you need to set a positive example for your kids about how to to that. Set big, scary goals, and go for it.
• Shore up your support system. This may mean your current circle of friends and family. Maybe you reach out to an acquaintance who recently went through divorce, or find a therapist, or reach out to the leader of your house of worship. This is going to be hard, and you need support. Related: Join my Facebook group, Millionaire Single Moms, for those with big goals, positive mindsets, and no victim mentalities (no income requirement!)

• Seek advice about how to tell your kids you’re separating. Related article: 6 tips for talking to kids about divorce
• Stop fighting with him. You’ve already been fighting. It will get you no where now. Just stop, and take practical, calm steps to move forward to untangle the relationship. You will be co-parenting for the rest of your lives. You need a new dynamic. Initiate the change. Related: Podcast-How to get days to stay involved post-divorce
• Slow your roll. Don’t run out of the house screaming. Don’t go on a spending spree, quit your job, or other rash moves. Divorce is trauma, and you, your kids and your soon-to-be ex will fare better on the other side if you are calm, deliberate and kind to yourself and him.
• Remember: This will be hard. Also: It will get better. In fact, this new phase of life will be amazing.

Related:

9 reasons dating is better as a single mom

31 reasons single motherhood is AWESOME

What every mom should ask for in divorce negotiations

Are you divorced? What was the BEST thing you did to prepare? Biggest mistake? Share with your sisters in the comments …

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