When my ex left me three and a half years ago, we were just about to break ground on the home we planned to build together. I had purchased a piece of property on Maui after the 2008 real estate crash, just before I met him.
After we got married, we spent countless hours designing our dream home, where we were going to raise our children and watch them grow together.
Obviously that didn’t pan out.
When he left shortly after our daughter was born, I was so devastated that I almost quit my job, sold the property, and moved away. How could I build a house by myself? How could I live in what was supposed to be our family home without him? How could I afford the construction costs on my own?
But after about a year, I decided to throw myself fully into work and to focus my energy on creating my OWN dream home for myself and my daughter. I redesigned the house, qualified for a construction loan, and spent the last year and a half watching my vision manifest into reality.
I finally moved in last week… And I cannot express how much I love it!!
Before my divorce I had never lived without a partner for more than six months in my adult life, and had never been able to create a space that was fully mine. But I did it here.
I’ve spent the last few days just walking around the place in happy disbelief, pinching myself to make sure it is real…
And I am so proud of myself for having brought this place into existence on my own! (Well, not really on my own – it was the product of many months of work by talented builders and craftspeople – but you know what I mean.)
Three years ago, I thought my life was over. It wasn’t.
Instead, I was able to build a beautiful family home for my daughter to grow up in. Not the life I envisioned on my wedding day…. But a perfect place for me and her.
And although at the time I thought the divorce was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to create something that is truly mine.
I know I am very fortunate to have a career that gave me the financial resources to do this as a single mother… But it also took a leap of faith to decide that I could make my own dream home without a partner.
So I am here to say to all of you, don’t be afraid to make that leap! As my late law partner and mentor used to say, think positive and good things will happen!