I had a really spectacular engagement ring. It wasn’t that it was huge or particularly expensive. But it was unique — the 24-carat yellow gold band consisted of a half-dozen hand-hammered connected spheres, each centered with a very nice diamond. It was totally my style, and it got lots of attention (which is also my style).
When I divorced I put the wedding rings in the safe in my house. In the back of my mind I thought I would give it my daughter one day — a token of the marriage that produced her. Plus, I just wasn’t ready to sell engagement ring — or part with that time of my life. I see now I wasn’t ready to face it.
But this summer I had a change of heart. I thought to the handful of people I know who used as their wedding rings left over from marriages that ended in divorce. Some of those rocks were impressive — far more expensive than the young couple could have afforded on their own. It always struck me as bad karma to start a life together with a token from another couple’s less-than-ideal story.
I am a big, big believer that things have power. Whether material possessions actually absorb and retain energy from the people and experiences around them, or if it is your own memories and feelings that give the object influence over you, I’m not sure. But if your walls are lined with pictures of family members who you distain, that is bad mojo. That tchoke from a vacation on which you fought mercilessly with your BFF is a reminder of sour times – not margaritas on the beach.
And if you are surrounded by things that remind you of the relationship from which you are trying to start anew, well, change that up.
And so last summer I decided to sell my engagement ring. I did some research and since it is a brand name designer (Gurhan is a known Turkish jeweler, his stuff is sold at Saks 5th Avenue and Neiman Marcus), it made sense to find through a local jeweler that would pay for that intrinsic value. I called a local Gurhan boutique, which recommended the company I used. You can search Yelp or CitySearch for a reputable local jeweler. I admit that the cash was less than I’d hoped, but after some research understand that there is a significant difference between retail and reseal value of jewelry. It is what it is. I used the money to send my kids to Europe with their dad to visit relatives there. It seemed a just use of those funds. Plus, it felt good to rid my home and mind of that significant marriage memento.
Let go of old things, it makes space for new.
There were also a couple of modest gold and diamond rings a relative had given us. Time to go! I did some research and decided to try to sell engagement ring at CashforGoldUSA and CashforDiamondsUSA (they have the same parent company), one of those places that advertise on TV. Those sites always seemed super-cheesy. But I researched this one. The parent company, CJ Environmental, had a few complaints with the Better Business Bureau, but the company resolved the majority of them and BBB gave it a B+ rating. From past research I’ve done as a business journalist on selling gold jewelry (including dental fillings. I’m not kidding), I know mail-in services like this can be a good deal, as can your local pawn shop. Just research them first. I decided to try CashforDiamondsUSA.
It turned out to be really easy. I plugged in my name and address on their website, they sent me a mailer, I stuck the rings jewelry in it, dropped it in the mailbox and two weeks later got a check (they also give you a tracking number to chart it online).
I was pleasantly surprised. One of the rings – 12-carat gold with a couple of small diamonds, fetched a $159 check. The other, similar, but of indeterminate quality, was actually returned. I was at first disappointed, but the rejection made me trust the company more. They were being honest: Nothing personal, the return implied, but your crappy ring is dead to us.
The bottom line is that it is that I decided to sell engagement ring that I didn’t use, no longer wanted, and kept me holding on to a relationship that I was no longer in. Plus, I got some cash that I needed at the time.
I don’t think it was insignificant that same month I started my first significant relationship in two years. I also think that selling those diamond and gold rings has something to do with the fact that my ex and I have been getting along better than since before our split. In ways I don’t fully understand, I was freed.
How about you? Do you still have your engagement ring? Or did you sell your wedding ring, give it away, turn it into a necklace, or throw it out the car window into a ditch on the way home from the court date finalizing your divorce? Please share in the comments …
Some of the links in this and other posts generate a commission. I never recommend products that I don’t truly believe in. Seriously – I get asked to write about stuff all the time and turn down hard cash if I’m not feeling it. Read more about my policy and partner disclaimer here.
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