Dear Willa Monster (that’s right, you have a nickname now),
You are 4 months old and you are such a different baby than
your sister was — though not in a bad way. I’d like to apologize for comparing
you to Maggie, but I’ve only known your sister so far at this familiarity. You
have such a different personality and demeanor than your sister, and I realize
that you and your sister will respond differently and have different needs from
each other. Above all else, I hope that I can meet them and keep you happy.
I love calling you my “little human nugget.” ‘Cause you are.
You have these little roly poly rolls of happiness all rolled up into one tiny person.
I once described you as thick — I think that is a fair assessment of your rolls
right now — and it’s so cute. You love standing up even though you can’t, and you
only bend at the waist when you want to. All the other times we are forced to
just hold a standing baby. You are strong — you lift your head and upper body
completely off the floor and can make eye contact with me while I’m standing;
you are always watching and studying your surroundings. You’ve been rolling
over for about a month, which surprised everyone because it took your sister so
long, and she needed a lot of cheering and persuading (Maggie is chill that
way). But you want to move, and you are not OK laying still and chilling. You
have places to go, even as a 4-monther.
I’ve been told you look like me…kinda. You have your Aunt
Jessi’s eyes and nose and your Aunt Shelly’s smile (which is very reminiscent
of your grandma Roznik and both your Roznik aunts). So you kinda look like me,
until you smile.
Your biggest asset and most notable feature IS your smile.
You smiled for the first time at 5 weeks old and it was amazing; your smile
went from ear to ear and lit up your entire face. We are all enamored with your
smile and do everything we can to see it. Everybody in the house coos and
whistles and just talks to ya, anything to get a Willow smile. You love talking
with/to everybody; you may not make any sense, but that doesn’t stop you from
letting your coos be heard.
We all chant this cute little chant when we talk to you — it
makes you smile. “Willow Willow Willow Rai.” Your name is perfect for such a
cute little human nugget. You love your jimmy jumper, and your Exersaucer, rolling
around on the floor (we found you under the couch the other day), grabbing
things (especially my necklace), and kicking and toe-grabbing (the best thing
about being a baby). You love watching your sister and talking to her, but
above all else, you love being held. You just want somebody to hold you close.
I realize now that babyhood is fleeting and I hug and love
on you more and more everyday. I let you suck your thumb and sleep in the big
bed with your daddy and I. I relish the toe-grabbing — ooh, all the
toe-grabbing. Your skin is so soft and untouched by years of sun. I want to
remember your smell and how you feel in my arms. I want you to stay a baby
forever. I don’t mind the diapers and the breast-feeding and the spit up, so
feel free to not grow up. I already miss the purity and beauty of you being a
With the second child it’s hard to fathom if you will love
them just as much as you do the first — I was really worried about this when I
was pregnant. But I’ll let you know I do, I love you just as much as Maggie. My
heart has gotten bigger and stronger and I have these warm happy can’t-believe-I-made-this-from-scratch-and-sustained-life
kind of feelings for both of you.
I have never ever felt anything like this before. I love
Jesus and God with everything I’ve got, but you and Maggie are little people I
can hold and squeeeeze and are tangible objects that God gave to me and your
daddy. Even the love I have for your daddy is a different kind of love — I’m smitten
with you two, completely infatuated. I have never just looked at something as
much as I look at you and your sister and just breathed a thank you to the
Almighty. I really needed to be a mom to truly, truly appreciate His Glory. He
is wonderful and I hope that I can teach you both about how much joy and love He
has brought me. God is good.
Willow "photo dump"
of photos you haven't seen on Instagram.