11 months

So I have a new client, Menguin, and I’m super excited cause their business model is really smart like penguins and tuxedos smart. They are revamping the way men and women are thinking about tuxes and streamlining the process so that renting a tuxedo isn’t a cumberbun-some (bad pun) process. It’s all online and bride-friendly. I […]
I’m starting my own creative business. What does this mean? 
This means that if I read that book correctly, I will be rich in just four hours a week without doing any actual work myself… I probably didn’t read it right, though. In fact, it’s most likely the opposite. Why am I doing this? I like things that require money to operate, like air-conditioning in August, the government and a dishwasher. I like working on a multiple of clients with different needs and problems. I like a flexible schedule and I like to see my kids while they are awake…sometimes. They are pretty cute when they are asleep. I also already have some clients, and it would be weird leaving them high and dry. And moreover, why the hell not?

Here are some more FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS you can find the same questions on my FAQ page of my website.

What will you be doing?
Well, I’m going to stretch my abilities and test my Apple to its limits. This includes: Wordpress websites, Blogger redesigns, graphic work, Photoshop requests, logo design, writing, designer-for-hire retainer contracts, agency work, book covers, book jackets, writing, social media management, blog writing, unsolicited advice and consulting, and general problem solving. If I don’t know something, I figure it out.

Who will be working with you?
Nobody and everybody. I am a one-person design agency, so I work by myself at a coffee shop where I silently imagine scandalous stories about my fellow latte drinkers. I work WITH my clients through whichever medium of communication that best works for them, whether that be in-person meetings, phone conversations, text messages or more-often-than-not long, gaudy email messages sent at 1 a.m.

How can I help?
(FYI – nobody has asked me this yet, let alone “asked me frequently,” but my false sense of entitlement is confused by your lack of asking this question.) You can help by telling your non-crazy friends about me; people who are easily impressed and have lots of money to spend would be ideal, or you could like my Facebook page. Generally, I’m not picky right now. I’ll design your yellow page ads if I need to. You may want to call and get grandfathered into my current hourly rate, since there’s no telling where my false sense of entitlement can take me.

What happened to your old job? is an awesome company bridging the gap between local neighborhood readers and small businesses wanting to manage their online marketing. You should go get on that bandwagon. They decided that they no longer want to spend time/resources doing websites, which is my main specialty and was 60% of my job over there. The other 40% is split between frivolously telling my bosses what to do and web banners for small businesses. BubbleLife still needed a solution for clients that wanted web design so they are the driving force and my main encouragement for starting my own business and hopefully a steady source of freelance. A.K.A. We still love each other.

Are you scared?
Yep. I’m not scared that I can’t find stuff to do; I truly think I can woo my design skills into the hearts of many. I design with bears and zombies — who wouldn’t want that? What I’m scared of is that my computer will be too slow or my files will suddenly implode, that I can’t help a client with my current abilities, that margarita will spill on my mac, that my self-diagnosed-creative-induced A.D.D. will become problematic, and that the supply of coffee will dwindle. That is where the power of prayer can help. Jesus can turn water into coffee and perform all the other miracles I may need in order to pay my bills and help my clients.

Why Duck Soap Box Creative?
WARNING: This is not a funny or intelligent answer. So, years ago in my younger, more naïve days, I had a blog that had no purpose (still doesn’t) that I had intended to act as my personal soap box for me to speak my mind and share my feelings on politics or religion. I was going be a famous writer…then I realized I wasn’t qualified to do that. I also like ducks. I kept the name because I didn’t want to lose any branding recognition with my seven readers. This blog is still active.

Where can I reach you? will always be the best way to reach me.

But, since its 2014:
Professional-Crystal is on LinkedIn.
Sarcastic-Crystal is on Twitter.

Mommy-Crystal is on Instagram.
Why did you start Duck Soap Box Creative? I began Duck Soap Box Creative hoping to share my knowledge and experience in marketing with others and to expand my repertoire of skills and learn some of the little logistical things that I have avoided in the past. I freelance for agencies and simultaneously work with ...
So I occasionally write for a blog called, and recently they wanted me to redesign their site. To understand why call a site meant for men dumb, here the beginning of the About page: Though his actions have been well documented the origin of the dumb white husband surely predates recorded history. The moment it ...

I do a lot of WordPress sites, but Chris Black keeps telling me that the influx of calls and leads are directly related to the new design. That makes me happy.
Check it out

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So I've recently just finished a blog redesign called DumbWhiteHusband and I'm writing for them every other week where I get to tell a bunch of Men why they are wrong, I'm even on the About page.

But what's unique about this website and this group of writers is that each of the writers will have a byline image for their posts. AND I got to design all these images and the whole site. Yep a girl designed a site meant for men.

Here are all the 11 byline images I've done so far, apparently I still have a few more. I love doing this kind of stuff.

Here are some Zombie Promotional Poster I created create for Ben Wallace's newest book, Dumb White Husband vs Zombies.

I had a blast designing these pulp fictiony posters, I seriously feel in my element when I get to do stuff like this.

Hey guys I'm working on some big stuff at BubbleLife. We are going to be rolling out some new interest sites and DFW culture newsletters, but I need help if you know of any local entertainment, home, fashion, technology, food & dining, health, or business blogs and bloggers that deal with the DFW culture. Please send my way.

So I figured I'd wait 7 days after Maggie turns 2 so that it would be a good weekend for people to come to a party as opposed to Thanksgiving Weekend. WRONG. I also figured that I would have it at a nearby park cause I thought maybe, maybe the weather would be nice. WRONG AGAIN.

This past Saturday Maggie had her 2nd Birthday Party in what the news station was calling the Icemageddon of Texas. Everything was closed down and DFW was entombed in ice.

I prepared all week and all weekend, getting the cookies made and the cupcakes perfect – this was really all about me, just kidding. But once the ice hit Thursday night I started to loose confidence and by Saturday morning I figured nobody would dare come to the party. I wasn't really too disappointed, she was only 2 so she wouldn't have known, and I knew days ahead that this may happen.

But some people did risk life and limb and did come. Honestly there were kids for Maggie to play with and I almost cried seeing her so happy with other children. Thank You to everybody who came.

Grandma Roznik, who had no problems driving on ice cause she grew up in Wisconsin, came. My friends Patty and Ben and their 3 kiddos, and the next door neighbor with her little girl all made it over for and brought some things for Maggie to play with and helped with the cabin fever we were feeling. Maggie ate so many cookies – so many and during gift-time we Skyped with Grammy, so she got to see Maggie open up her cow-dressed babydoll.

Here are some pictures of my Maggie's COW themed party.